Boston Doctor Offers Sex Change Treatment to Kids

Link to story of asinine doctor and the hospital offering this procedure to CHILDREN

excerpt:

Dr. Norman Spack, a pediatric specialist at the hospital, has launched a clinic for transgendered kids — boys who feel like girls, girls who want to be boys — and he’s opening his doors to patients as young as 7.

I do hope counseling is offered before the surgery... for the doctor.

4 sure, sheeeesh

This issue is medically recognized. I have a close friend who has a child who has recieved a Medical Diagnosis of GID. My friend is one of the strongest women I know and she has broke down infront of me because of the way her child has been treated locally.tThe child was withdrawn and her grades were suffering. All along this child said she was a girl and her therapist agreed. And once she started living as a girl her whole wellbeing and life as changed for the better. For thoughs who don't know the steps of treatment for the transgendered when the child is below the age of puberty they do NOTHING. HRT and surgery if wanted do not come until MUCH MUCH later. The above Dr. treatment is not the same as the treatment of the child I speak. When she I old enough then she will take the hormones and have a normal female puberty. As I am sure some of you know all embryos are inheritely (sp?) female until a hormone rush occurs in the uterus. If something goes wrong the brain my develop female and the body male and vice versa. This issue is no different then anything else that causes issues inutero. And yes Justoo there is ALOT of therapy not only for the child but for the entire family.

The doctor is not offering surgical SEX CHANGE for kids. By offering hormone blockers for kids who are going through pubery...it buys the kids and parents more time to make a decision when the children are older regarding a serious diagnosis called Gender Identity Dyshoria....which is when the gender identity of a person/child is not congruent with the sex the person was identified with at birth.
Transgendered kids suffer tremendously when forced to live in a way not congruent with their mind... Dr Spack is HELPING these kids and the parents.
And before any treament/deision is made the kids and parents talk to plenty of experts along the way.

Dr. Spack is under fire from individuals who have no idea what they are talking about. In fact, it is difficult to fathom this NECESSARY treatment protocol unless you are going through the issues firsthand. I know, because I have been on both sides of the issue, first as an ignorant bystander and secondly as a parent whose child genuinely needs this treatment.

My child was diagnosed with gender dysphoria two years ago. Before then, I knew nothing about transgender people. I have been forced to learn.

Some of the things that I have learned are:

Transgendered people are born with their gender identity, the same that you or I or anyone else is. The difficulty comes because their internal gender identity doesn't match their physical bodies, thus causing severe emotional distress. I now feel very fortunate that my internal and external genders match. What an awful thing it would be to try to live every day in this society if they did not.

Nothing I did CAUSED my child to be transgender. Nothing my CHILD did CAUSED him to be transgender. It is what it is, and I can not force him to want to be a girl any more than I can force myself to want to be a man. EWWWW! You couldn't pay me enough!! THAT is how my child feels too.

GENDER IDENTITY and SEXUAL ORIENTATION are two TOTALLY SEPARATE and different things. I USED TO THINK that people who were trans were actually homosexuals who were trying to fit into society by changing their gender. NOT SO! Gender identity is WHO YOU ARE; sexual orientation is WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO.

There is a treatment for gender dysphoria!! It is to transition to become one's affirmed gender. In my personal case, the delivery doctor told me that I had a daughter and I believed him. We were wrong. In order to remedy the incongruence that a trans person feels, there is but one option. Even with our medical knowledge and advanced scientific methodology, there is NO WAY to change a persons feelings or what is inside their heart. The only other possibility for a content life is to change the body. This is what Dr. Norman Spack helps parents and children to do.



My child has always been MALE. I just didn't know it. He told me. He told me over and over since he was between two and three years old, but I didn't listen. I thought it was a phase. I thought I could change the way he felt. I thought that I was imagining things and blowing it out of proportion. Truth is, none of those things were the case. My child was a BOY born with the body of a GIRL. There was NO HELP for this kid until I understood. Thank God, now I do.


This is why I support Dr. Spack and his team in Boston. They are caring and sensitive to an issue that so, so many people do not understand or accept. Admittedly, it is NOT an easy concept to grasp. I've been there..... Remember?

However, I now realize that what Dr. Spack is doing is SAVING LIVES! These children are not your average little girl who hates dresses and loves to climb trees. THAT was me. These children are not the little boy who wants to sit on Mommy's lap and thinks doll houses are cool. THAT is the kid that lives up the street from me. The children about who we are talking are children who have had LONG-TERM, CHRONIC, SEVERE anxiety, distress and depression due to their gender dysphoria. Despite attempts by parents and families to "wait it out," "modify their child's behaviors, thought and feelings," and/or "ignore it and it will go away," their child's emotional condition worsened. Some wanted to die; some tried to make it happen; and some have been successful. NOT MY CHILD IF I CAN HELP IT!

In order to try to save my child's life, I have allowed him to do what he has been begging to do for 5 years: live as a boy. It didn't happen overnight. It has been a long and painful process full of grief, sadness, anger and finally acceptance.

My child is only eight-years-old. He is not yet in a stage where he NEEDS hormone blockers or Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). As puberty approaches, I will assess my child's level of comfort with his physical changes with the support of my pediatrician, my son's gender specialist, a family therapist, and our endocrinologist (not Dr. Spack, but I WISH I could travel to Boston so that it could be HIM). If we determine that my child is experiencing increased distress over his body, we will begin to implement hormone blockers. We will continue to monitor until such a time when HRT may be appropriate and then, consider it as an option. If my child turns 18 and desires to have Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS), I will support him in any way that I can.

WHY???? Because I love my child. I want him to have a happy, NORMAL life. He deserves it because he is a beautiful kid with a lot to offer the world. He is MY baby and I will do what it takes to "right this wrong." He didn't ask to be born this way. He just was.

Thank you for reading my experience. I have left out a lot because there is SO MUCH involved. I could literally write a book! If you have any sincere questions about transgender, Dr. Spack's work or my experience specifically, please do not hesitate to ask. I will answer to the best of my knowledge.

As the mother of a 17-year old transgender female-to-male son, I can attest to those who do not understand what it means to be transgendered that this is not a process that any parent or child takes lightly.

My son was 3 years old when he first came to me and proclaimed that he was a boy and not a girl. For those who may question what does a young chld know about who they are? Let me just ask you...how old were you when you realized you were either male or female? Our gender is something we inherently know from a very young age.

For those who are gender dysphoric, the gender they know themselves to be is not congruent with the gender of their biological body. One who is transgender does not choose to be, rather they are born transgendered. Development of a transgenered person begins in utero.

The majority of all transgendered persons realized they were trans at a young age, just as my son knew who he was. One of the most devastating things to happen for a young trans person is to go through the puberty of their biolgoical body. Just imagine, if you can, how a young trans boy feels when his biological body develops into a feminine body and menses begins. Or how the young trans girl feels when her voice deepens, body and facial hair begins to grow and her adam's apple becomes prominent. The natural occurence of biological puberty for transchildren is an excruciatingly painful process for them; a process that is wrought with great depression, self-mutilcation, suicidal attempts and suicidal successes.

Dr. Spack offers younger children and their families with hormone blocker treatment to allow the young gender questioning, gender vairant, or transgender child time to grasp, understand, and accept who they are before additional therapies such as hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or sexual reassignment surgeries are attempted later in life. Much psychotherapy is obtained for these young children (and their families) before, during and after prescribing treatment of hormone blockers. This therapy is only prescribed for those children who present with strong gender dysphoria and not one who is gender questioning or curious.

Personally, had I known such therapy was available in 1994 when my son first came to me to assert who he was and continued those assertions in the following years with his insistance of dressing like a boy, behaving like a boy, wanting boy haircuts, etc., I would have most assuredly had him placed on the blockers before his bilogical female body began puberty. When your happy and healty child suddenly becomes full of self-loathing and is so greatly depressed that he cuts himself or has suicidial ideations you rack your brain trying to figure out why this is happening. And then, when you take your child to a psychotherapist and learn that he is transgender and you reflect back on him adamantly voicing such to you throughout the years, you believe him. It all suddenly clicks and you go Yes, this is who he is.

Because I was not as well informed now due to the lack of information available to me as the parent of a transgender child, my son did develop a feminine body. Even though he is now on HRT, he has to bind his chest so that the feminine attributes of his biological body are not visible. He will not look at his body in a mirror, because he cannot stomach the though of seeing that he possesses the body of a girl. Alhough we will hopefully be heading for sexual reassignment surgery within a year, it will not come fast enough for him. Once he has his SRS he will then begin to feel like the boy he was truly meant to be, if not for the natural mismatch that his fetal development dealt upon him.

My three year olds always came to me and told me they were the opposite sex as they were. It was my job as a parent to correct them, not get them a sex change. But to each their own!!!

jessks75 wrote:

My three year olds always came to me and told me they were the opposite sex as they were. It was my job as a parent to correct them, not get them a sex change. But to each their own!!!

Thats not the point Jess. If your child came to you repletely and said that they are of the opposite sex then you should seek professional help.

Dr. Spack is not doing gender reassignment surgery on children. What he does in hormonal intervention. Transgender kids and their parents don't just wake up one day & decide, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool to be the other gender?!" This path was chosen for us before our kids were born. There are a lot of medical experts involved before anyone sees Dr. Spack -- nothing about this journey is taken lightly. But, like any parent, we want our kids to be happy, productive individuals that are comfortable with themselves. If you would do some real research and educate yourself, instead of just believing whatever "news" story is out now, you might realize we're only doing what's best for our kids.

Like I said to each their own. But if a three year old is asking for a sex change, then to me something is wrong.

Jess,
Again. we are not talking about a "sex change" for kids...a sex change is a surgical procudure. A surgical procudure comes way AFTER puberty and that is only if the minor is still consistent with his or her feelings of being in the wrong body. AND it is not just a matter of a child being a "tomboy" or a feminine boy, it is about severe emotional distress about a child having to socially present themselves as someone that is OPPOSITE their GENDER IDENTITY.

okay!

Jess,

Belive me, there is not a single parent with a transgender child who immediately told their gender questioning child, "sure, honey, you can be a boy/girl". But, when you have a child who is constantly asserting "I'm a boy" or "I'm a girl"; or one who is trying to cause physical harm to themselves by trying to cut off their private parts or cutting off their eye lashes, a parent then must look at it that there may be a problem. And it is here that the long process of seeking medical and psychological intervention occurs.

I would always tell my son when he came to me at 3 to say he was a boy and not a girl, "No, honey, you're a girl, not a boy." And I would follow that up with examples of why he was a girl. But he would continually and adamantly proclaim I was wrong that he was a boy.

Don't think that this is a situation that any parent of a trans child takes lightly. Countless hours of consternation and worry are experienced by each and every parent of a trans child.

I would like to invite you to go to YouTube.com and do a search for "Barbara Walters Transgender Children", as you will find a wonderful 5-part segment that she recently did on transgender children. After you watch that, please come back and ask any questions you may have regarding transgender children, and I will be more than happy to answer you through my experiences with my trans son.

jessks75 wrote:

Like I said to each their own. But if a three year old is asking for a sex change, then to me something is wrong.

YES! Exactly!! Unfortunately, parents too often think this is just a passing phase when in reality the child is trying to tell them something: they are not the gender everyone thinks they are.

Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about a little boy who becomes infatuated with his mother's high heels for two weeks or a little girl who insists she play on a T-ball team instead of playing girl's softball. I am talking about the EXTREMES that, over time, become worse and worse despite parental efforts to alleviate the situation. Most gender non-conformity fades over time. When it doesn't, it is time to seek professional advice.

My personal feeling is that we'd have less transgender children if we had less glorification in the media of it. I also think the excessive body modification nowdays has led a kid to think they can be anything they want. Like the guy who had horns implanted, scales tattood on, and his tongue split to look like a reptile. He may really want to look that way, but nobody is going to make me believe he's supposed to be a lizard and that it's just nature trying to fix a mistake.

If you want to treat your boy like a girl, or vice verse, it's your kid. But just make sure it's their inner self giving them the idea and not some drag queen on Oprah or Dr Phil, or crossdressing men on their favorite music videos. Kids often will do exactly the opposite of what they think the parents or society wants. Just think of all the weird things you insisted on doing as a kid that you would now find absurd. Be careful with this one parents. What they are convinced they know at 5, 10, or 15 years old is very rarely what they will want as adults.

Learned something today. Thanks for educating me on a subject that I was unaware of. I had no idea that awareness could start at such an early age.

What it boils down to is doctors have found a new way to make money. Those who can afford the fortune in therapy, hormones, and even surgical changes will become what they want. Those who can't afford it will be told the same thing ugly people are. "You just need to accept who you are".

Justoo wrote:

Learned something today. Thanks for educating me on a subject that I was unaware of. I had no idea that awareness could start at such an early age.

You bought this?

I agree with you whole heartedly Justoo.

Sorry guys, but I don't go for it. If as adults they choose this I'd say fine. But in this day where young kids think they MUST have breast implants, colored contacts, liposuction, tattoos, body piercings, nose jobs, ear jobs, and other assorted alterations and reconstructions, I find this to be very distressing.

When dealing with adults it's one thing, but we don't even allow a 3 year old to choose his own diet, or bed time for very good reason. An anorexic person hates what they see in the mirror too. We see a dangerously thin person and they see fat. And we call that mental illness.

Looking at this again, I have to wonder how many cases are actually more like Munchausen by Proxy where a caregiver causes illness or injury to another. Could it be that a mother who really wanted a girl might secretly begin treating a baby boy like a girl and teaching them that they are a girl? If this were done at a very young age a child might easily grow up believing it with no idea that it was their mother who implanted it in the mind.

Think about this. A Muslim child can be trained to honestly believe blowing himself up to kill jews is not only right, but will gain him a reward of goats and virgins. If you start from birth and train their every thought for the first 2 or 3 years turning a boy into a girl could easily be accomplished.

Ratzilla wrote:

Looking at this again, I have to wonder how many cases are actually more like Munchausen by Proxy where a caregiver causes illness or injury to another. Could it be that a mother who really wanted a girl might secretly begin treating a baby boy like a girl and teaching them that they are a girl? If this were done at a very young age a child might easily grow up believing it with no idea that it was their mother who implanted it in the mind.

Think about this. A Muslim child can be trained to honestly believe blowing himself up to kill jews is not only right, but will gain him a reward of goats and virgins. If you start from birth and train their every thought for the first 2 or 3 years turning a boy into a girl could easily be accomplished.

Interesting!!!

Ratzilla wrote:

Sorry guys, but I don't go for it. If as adults they choose this I'd say fine. But in this day where young kids think they MUST have breast implants, colored contacts, liposuction, tattoos, body piercings, nose jobs, ear jobs, and other assorted alterations and reconstructions, I find this to be very distressing.

When dealing with adults it's one thing, but we don't even allow a 3 year old to choose his own diet, or bed time for very good reason. An anorexic person hates what they see in the mirror too. We see a dangerously thin person and they see fat. And we call that mental illness.

The problem is, that if this is to be a person's destiny and they've been exhibiting this their whole life from the age of 2, medical intervention has to be started not long into puberty to prevent them from looking like, to cite a sterotype, "a man in a dress" when they are grown. It is during puberty that the body starts developing the characteristics of the biological sex.

Ratzilla wrote:

Looking at this again, I have to wonder how many cases are actually more like Munchausen by Proxy where a caregiver causes illness or injury to another. Could it be that a mother who really wanted a girl might secretly begin treating a baby boy like a girl and teaching them that they are a girl? If this were done at a very young age a child might easily grow up believing it with no idea that it was their mother who implanted it in the mind.

Think about this. A Muslim child can be trained to honestly believe blowing himself up to kill jews is not only right, but will gain him a reward of goats and virgins. If you start from birth and train their every thought for the first 2 or 3 years turning a boy into a girl could easily be accomplished.

I've known about several of these cases, and none I've heard of have ever been anything like this. The parents are always as shocked as anyone when they realize what is going on.

OpenMinded wrote:

The problem is, that if this is to be a person's destiny and they've been exhibiting this their whole life from the age of 2, medical intervention has to be started not long into puberty to prevent them from looking like, to cite a sterotype, "a man in a dress" when they are grown. It is during puberty that the body starts developing the characteristics of the biological sex.

I don't and cannot believe a person at the age of 2 is going to say they are the wrong sex unless they've been coached. Such a statement made seriously is beyond the thought processes of a child that age. I think it possible that a play situation may be taken seriously by a parent and exaggerated in the childs, and the parents mind, but I highly doubt a child of 2 has the ability to comprehend this.

I think that there is such a thing as a feminine male, or a masculine female. But I feel strongly that no small child should be encouraged by parents or therapists to become the opposite sex before they are even out of grade school, and especially not while they are in preschool.

I firmly believe that what may be started as innocent play similar to having an invisible friend, may be taken way beyond where it would go normally when you have parents and therapists encouraging it. And I also think the idea of mothers, or someone else wishing the child was the opposite sex can result in repeatedly planting these thoughts in the toddlers mind so that they grow up believing it.

I can see someone wishing they were someone they're not. Hell I wish I was 20 again rich, good looking, and hung like a horse. But that ain't reality and telling a kid they can change who they were born to be in my opinion is very risky. If a child really likes to dress or act in the manner of the opposite sex, I wouldn't be cruel or punish them, but I really would not encourage it. This is not a physical birth defect like a faulty heart valve or degenerative disease. It is a state of mind.

And what's more, I do not trust psychologists. There was a time where we used to tell everyone to be try to be happy with who they were. But that social ideal means alot of psychologists and plastic surgeons would make alot less money. I also wonder how much of this is coming up due to someone wanting to push transgender acceptance into the mainstream.

There is one case where I consider determining sexual orientation a necessary thing. That is when a child is born hermophraditic. In that case if a child has shown a strong tendency towards one gender it would make sense to go with their preference.

OpenMinded wrote:

I've known about several of these cases, and none I've heard of have ever been anything like this. The parents are always as shocked as anyone when they realize what is going on.

Oh yeah, like a mother secretly trying to turn her boy into a girl or vice verse would admit it.

Ratzilla,
A mother or father could never "secretly try to turn her boy into a girl" Gender identity is strong and consistent and evident as young as 1-2 years old... Think back...when did you know you were a boy or a girl? Gender identity just is. When you say you cant beleive a two year old would say they are the wrong gender is because you have never been in that situation or know someone who is transgender...you have never been around a child who is transgender. We are talking about kids who do KNOW they are in the wrong body and YES they do tell their parents. And the parents spend a lot of time not believing them....they think its a phase and try to convince their kids that they are not in the wrong body. The parents do not WANT this for their kids anymore than a parent would want their child to have autism are any other type of birth defect.

Ratzilla wrote:

OpenMinded wrote:

The problem is, that if this is to be a person's destiny and they've been exhibiting this their whole life from the age of 2, medical intervention has to be started not long into puberty to prevent them from looking like, to cite a sterotype, "a man in a dress" when they are grown. It is during puberty that the body starts developing the characteristics of the biological sex.

I don't and cannot believe a person at the age of 2 is going to say they are the wrong sex unless they've been coached. Such a statement made seriously is beyond the thought processes of a child that age. I think it possible that a play situation may be taken seriously by a parent and exaggerated in the childs, and the parents mind, but I highly doubt a child of 2 has the ability to comprehend this.

I think that there is such a thing as a feminine male, or a masculine female. But I feel strongly that no small child should be encouraged by parents or therapists to become the opposite sex before they are even out of grade school, and especially not while they are in preschool.

I firmly believe that what may be started as innocent play similar to having an invisible friend, may be taken way beyond where it would go normally when you have parents and therapists encouraging it. And I also think the idea of mothers, or someone else wishing the child was the opposite sex can result in repeatedly planting these thoughts in the toddlers mind so that they grow up believing it.

I can see someone wishing they were someone they're not. Hell I wish I was 20 again rich, good looking, and hung like a horse. But that ain't reality and telling a kid they can change who they were born to be in my opinion is very risky. If a child really likes to dress or act in the manner of the opposite sex, I wouldn't be cruel or punish them, but I really would not encourage it. This is not a physical birth defect like a faulty heart valve or degenerative disease. It is a state of mind.

And what's more, I do not trust psychologists. There was a time where we used to tell everyone to be try to be happy with who they were. But that social ideal means alot of psychologists and plastic surgeons would make alot less money. I also wonder how much of this is coming up due to someone wanting to push transgender acceptance into the mainstream.

There is one case where I consider determining sexual orientation a necessary thing. That is when a child is born hermophraditic. In that case if a child has shown a strong tendency towards one gender it would make sense to go with their preference.

I don't put much stock in psychology myself, but what you can trust are the interactions between a child and its parents. A 2yo may not explicitly say "I feel that I have gender dysphoria and would like to effect a social transition, until I am of such an age as to be able to look into medical intervention", but the behavior is there. The parents usually don't worry too much about it at that age, but worry more and try to discourage it as the child starts to get older and the behavior persists and becomes even more pronounced.

The parents still don't realize what is going on, usually until some dramatic moment when a child as young as 7 tries to seriously injure itself, or declares "I am a boy/girl".

We are not talking about any kind of play or pretend/fantasy situation here. We are talking about very serious behavioral and emotional problems, suicidal tendencies, leading up to a shocking point of realization. Everything that comes after that, therapy, social transition, medical intervention, is an attempt to allow the child to grow up relatively happy and healthy. Those that are allowed to transition are usually much happier than they were previously.

And there are some medical papers and some theories that indicate that it may very well be a birth "defect", driven by differences in actual brain structure. But this is still very controversial and not settled.

Ratzilla wrote:

Looking at this again, I have to wonder how many cases are actually more like Munchausen by Proxy where a caregiver causes illness or injury to another. Could it be that a mother who really wanted a girl might secretly begin treating a baby boy like a girl and teaching them that they are a girl? If this were done at a very young age a child might easily grow up believing it with no idea that it was their mother who implanted it in the mind.

Think about this. A Muslim child can be trained to honestly believe blowing himself up to kill jews is not only right, but will gain him a reward of goats and virgins. If you start from birth and train their every thought for the first 2 or 3 years turning a boy into a girl could easily be accomplished.

In my case, Ratzilla, let me attest to you that this absolutely is not what happened. Even when I was as young as 12 I dreamed of the day when I would be a wife and a mother to a beautiful baby girl. I even had my baby girl's name picked out. Then, two days after my 30th birthday, my lifelong dream came true and I gave birth to the most beautiful daughter in the world and gifted her with the name I chose for her 18 years previously. Throughout her infanthood and early toddler years I dressed her in the cutest and most darling little girls outfits and adorned her beauiful curly blonde hair with pretty ribbons and bows.

Yet, when my child was 3 I realized that I had in fact not had the daughter I for so long dreamed about, but had in fact given birth to a transgender son, when he came to me from that age on and told me that he was not a girl, but a boy.

Therefore, nowhere in your statement is this true, for I would never, ever try to change the child that I had for so long dreamed of having.

People often ask me if I was heartbroken when my son transitioned. My response to them then is the same as it is now when asked this very poignant question. I had a beautiful daughter, but now I have a wonderful son. And it is true.

Our gender is something that we know from a very young age. No one had to tell me I was female, just as no one had to tell you that you were male. The same is true for our transgendered children; they know what gender they are. However, their gender does not match their biological body.

Those who are transgendered do not choose to be the other gender. Who would make such a choice in light of the obstacles that they will have to face in life? It is not an easy road that a transgendered person must travel.

Someone who is transgendered cannot deny themselves, although they may suppress their identity only to find much later in life that they must be who they really are. It saddens me to think anyone should live 30 to 40 years of their lives cloaked and secluded.

Education and understanding is the key for those who are just learning about transgenderism. It can be difficult to get your head wrapped around the idea that one's physical gender does not equal affirmed gender.

Scientific research has concluded that there are differences within the brains of transgendered people from those of normative gendered individuals. Within this research a transgendered male-to-female will equivantly possess findings that comparatively equal normative female gendered brains. Such is the same for female-to-male transgendered individuals matching findings of those in normative male gendered brains.

There are also research studies indicating hormonal influx during inutero gestation that adversely affects the development of transgenderendered babies. Other studies indicate that (in layman's terms) a simple mismatch or wires-crossing occurred when the baby's sex is determined the brain does not receive the correct information. Therefore, the biological gender does not match the brain gender.

Some consider the birth of a transgender child to be no more than a birth defect, as the mismatch occurs during gestation. Such being the case, why then should we look any differently at a transgender born child thane we would that of a child born with Downs' Syndrome or Spina Bifida? We shouldn't, should we?

For all those who still cannot support the idea that transgender children are born to be who they are, I can must assuredly assert that your opinions would drastically change if you are ever blessed with the birth of a transgender child in your family. Because it is then that you, just as all we parents who have been blessed with our transgender children, will understand that your child is normal and is the way that God intended her or she to be.

Glorification of transgenderism in the media? Interesting. I finally watched "Boys don't Cry" years after it made its way into the theatre with an Oscar nod and I sobbed. Transsexuals being beaten up, murdered and humiliated in every media presentation and our children want to live that life? I don't think so.

I saw my first born son drawing a picture of himself as a little stick girl at age 5. I asked if that was "his" new friend in Kindergarden. Yes, Kindergarten. "I wish I were a girl" I was told but because that was almost 20 years ago, I didn't know any better. That child clammed up and never talked of wishing to be a girl again. That child was perfect in every way until puberty then that perfect child became depressed and eventually suicidal teenager. That child of mine was intelligent enough to know at a young age that society would not accept him as a girl born in a wrong body therefore that child turned into a youth without future.

At the ripe young age of 20, my child became my daughter. It was at the lowest point of her life when she had to make the decision of life or death. To live, she had to transition, started the process of being the girl she was meant to be, she had to change her mistmatched body. It was either that or to end her life. Did I want my child to make the change? No, never but if it was a choice between burying her or having her in my life, well, do I even have to answer that?

I didn't promote this and I didn't embrace this but my child is my child and love is love. I wasn't given a choice to help my child transition at a younger age. I wish I was because her teen years would've been a whole lot happier and my family would've enjoyed those years with her. I regretted that my child thought something was wrong with her her whole life. I would've been one of the first in line to see Dr. Spack if I'd known of the cause of my child's misery. This isn't something parents of trans children do with kneejerk reaction. What they lived through with their children before getting to this point is enough to make one weep. It's a whole lot of pain, anxiety, uncertainty and soul searching. We don't have a choice and we don't have the right to deny what our children know it's their true gender.

None of us want to have to deal with our children changing sex at any age but we deal with it the best way we know how because we love them and we must do right by them.

Well as long as Your BOY doesn't decide to be a GIRL again and get pregant the world will be okay!

So is weebs, luvmytranson, openmind and KS1 all the same people or are you all friends? With children all going through this?

Nobody' Business and Justoo,
I wanted to say I was glad to read that you learned something. It is hard to understand at first....

jessks75 wrote:

So is weebs, luvmytranson, openmind and KS1 all the same people or are you all friends? With children all going through this?

Jessks75:

Is it hard to fathom that many, many families are going through this with their transgender children? It may shed a different light for you and others when you realize that these occurrences are not so isolated to be considered freakish.

Who knows within this community of Hays how many transgendered indivdiuals there are. I have read research papers that estimate the number of transgender births may range between 1-in-500 to 1-in-10,000 births.

Transgendered individuals come from every walk and ilk in life, some are quite renown in their fields and have contributed greatly to our existance.

While I do not personally know any of those who post to this forum, I do know that I am not the only parent of a transgendered child.

There is much information on the net regarding transgender, trans race, and transspecies.

jessks75 wrote:

So is weebs, luvmytranson, openmind and KS1 all the same people or are you all friends? With children all going through this?

I know that I, at least, am only me - speaking for myself that is.

jessks75 wrote:

So is weebs, luvmytranson, openmind and KS1 all the same people or are you all friends? With children all going through this?

I have never met any of these people. In fact, I have never met ANYONE else with a child who is trans. I HAVE spoken to other parents through an internet support group, but we have never met. I would LOVE to meet them though; they seem like amazing parents with amazing kids!

And BTW, if any of you parents are in need of a good support group, send me a private message and I'll hook you up with the information. The parents in the group have children ranging from 4 to adult (not sure how old the oldest is) and the parents are at all stages of acceptance. The children are at all stages of transition, and some have decided not to transition at all. The parents in the group do not always agree on what we discuss, but there is a wealth of information and literature available through them and there is much good advice. Without this group and the support and love they offer, I don't know how I would have made it this far without going crazy or totally "losing it."

Next question...off topic (sorry, NB)... how did you all find this thread in this forum?

Someone told me about it

Everyone is welcome to join and discuss. This type of topic has opened up an avenue that some of us may not be comfortable with but I think it is healthy for all of us.

suzyr wrote:

Next question...off topic (sorry, NB)... how did you all find this thread in this forum?

My brother's a long-time member of this forum. He told me.

Hopefully, you all stick around beyond the life of this particular thread.

I agree suz! Hopefully we are going to have more active users.

suzyr wrote:

Hopefully, you all stick around beyond the life of this particular thread.

Probably not. I'm not into "quirky news." I just happen to feel that THIS news was NOT quirky and I wanted to take the time to try to educate people about trans issues. If only ONE person gets a better understanding of this, then the world may be a better place, AND safer for my child.

It's the mother in me who wants to protect her children that brought me here to share my experience with you good people.

jessks75 wrote:

Well as long as Your BOY doesn't decide to be a GIRL again and get pregant the world will be okay!

No offense, but what difference is it to YOU whether or not my child decides to have a family when he grows up? The important thing is NOT whether he is a man or a woman, but whether or not he is a good parent. I guess I could make the same comment (as long as Jess doesn't have any kids the world will be okay!) about you, but I wouldn't do that because it is rude, hateful and inappropriate.

I am new to this discussion but have been trying to follow as time allows.

Firstly, I am not any of the other posts. As far as I know I have not met them. Though my story mimicks Weebs. Maybe some of you do know me and I know you, maybe we met at the grocery store, park. But you didn't notice me or my child because my child looks like every other boy on the playground, but he isn't.

He was born looking very much like a female baby. But by age 3 it was becoming obvious to us that our child was not like all the other girls, and in fact was a lot more like the boys. And no, I did not secretely wish for a boy. When we found out I was pregnant with a girl both my husband and I were soooo happy. We started planning all the things we would do for and with our new little girl, I started shopping and picked out the cutest little girl outfits ever, but as time wore on those little girl outfits were getting harder and harder to get on. there would be tears and frustration and I just couldn't bear the fights and so I gave in. And my child suddenly started getting dressed on his own.

And like the others I figured Tomboy. But by age 7 my child was asking about what happens in the belly, what makes a girl or boy, and most telling---what happens when a mistake happens. I can assure you I did not put this into my child's head. Eventually we got the diagnosis that our child was an a catagory called gender varient. I had never heard of such a thing. So no, Ratzilla, it wasn't glorification of this in the media or any places else that fed this into my child's mind. My child watched very little TV and what we did see on occasion was Seseme street, Dora, Bear in a blue house, Barney. And also all the usuale Disney princess movies movies. My child was saying these things independent of external media.

At first I tried to see if I was doing something wrong, if I was to blame, but could find nothing. I am a very feminine mom and it was NOT rubbing off on my child. AS a side note a had another baby 2 years later, a girl, a girly girl, princess in every way, go figure.

Those that have not had this experience come into their home usually cannot begin to understand what this is like. We did not choose this and we sure didn't want this, and it has been absolutely heartbreaking as we watched all our dreams of our little girl get shattered.

On the other hand, once we firgured out the issue, with the help of a lot of reading, doctor and therapy visits, we started to really listen to our child. We no longer fight the clothing or haricut issue, and more importantly, all the other 'psychological problems'
have vanished. No more night terrors, no more panic attacks, no more temper tantrums and big fights. And I can tell you that everyone, adults included, really like our kid. he gets invited to a lot of playdates, some of the parents know and others do not. But everyone says what a nice and well adjusted child we have. We are not the freaks the uneducated think we are.

And finally , PLEASE understand NO ONE is giving kids sex change operations! All we are doing is allowing them to choose their own clothing and haircut. When they are old enough we will reevaluate the situation and see where we need to go on this.

What I have learned is that if we do not allow our kids to be who they are and we forbid them from their expression, we will lose them. They will leave home as soon as the re able, they will repress and have it explode later in life, and 50% will attempt, and often succeed, in suicide. They will not wait until they are 18 to do this. Kids as young as 8 have attempted. And at age 7 my own child was crying how he could not live like this (as a girl). I had a miserable child. But now...I HAVE a happy and wonderful child.

I found out about this forum from a friend that is in the 'know' about our child.