Lauer to interview Palin on Tuesday's Today Show

Likely questions he'll ask:

1. Okay, you stupid bitch, what states did you and the old guy win and how many electoral votes did each state have? Keep in mind that if you can't answer exactly, we'll crucify you.

2. Is Pluto a planet or not? If not, should Mickey's dog be renamed?

3. Speaking of which, what the hell is Goofy?

4. Today is Veteran's Day. How can we have a national holiday to honor those baby killers?

5. What's a Gordie Howe hat trick?

6. Bill Clinton wants to know if Todd honors the Eskimo tradition of ordering his wife to sleep with house guests as a gesture of hospitality. If he does, Bill will be visiting next week.