I'm bored, let's write a story..................a crazy one!!!!

liv tyler ran up to me and invited me

to her dad's concert.

And then my pants fell around my ankles and i dropped my toothbrush

with a panicy voice I shouted........

at the mad monkeys that came crawling out of the pockets

and took my money with them,if felt like I was getting raped at the gas pump all over again............F'N monkeys

Then the monkeys stopped and asked "why do ya'll

talk so funny?

at this point- i started slapping at them because being in my pants n
taking my money is one thing--but talking??? and it was in a sqeeky fingernail on the chalkboard kind of voice-

And it was driving me CRAZY. After I finished

i started back on my journey---swinging on vines and climbing over logs to find my shoes- and seeing as how I was pant-less....was no easy feat

I like monkeys in my pants,if were all talkin 'bout the same "monkeys" who.......

like to monkey around

but they're too busy...

with grapes

and tae kwon do,so we had to call upon...............

Petunia Pig

with his shoes

and large balls that bounced when he jumped on the trampoline at the.........toy factory where he met................

a big beautiful

drag queen

that had orange deep

crevaces between her smelly..........

hooves

with loud forceful..........

voices, it became clear that

while Drew Carey sat

For my 300th post I thought I'd recap! (I keep getting lost in the story and having to go back and look...) Here it is!

One fine day I ran into the................. woods to find a pair of Manolo Blahniks that I had hidden in a hollow log. As I was walking along, I thought I saw a fetish made of crystal skulls. The sunlight that hit them sent rainbows all over the ground. I carefully decided to chant to release the bad karma that was set upon us when we hijacked someone elses thread.
Thats when I steped into a bucket of shaving cream (be nice and clean). Shave every day and you'll always have a funny yeast infection with a great big blue bouncy ball with a caramel center and a sweaty green bald snake tied up with barbed wire that was half a mile long. And the crowed rejoiced. Then walked in a circular direction, fuzzy and magical, opius abounded when we were on the brink of glitzy pleasantries filled with nitrous oxide and happy bunnies hopping through the forest ripping the heads off the field mice and kicking them in the groin.
Down came the grim reaper who looked me straight in the eye and whispered in my ear "Don't fear the Reaper." I asked him out and he said only if i wear cardboard shoes decorated by flying monkeys.
I thought to myself... "uh-oh, I don't have shoes like that." So, I punched him in the face, kicked him when he was down and I RAN until liv tyler ran up to me and invited me to her dad's concert.
And then my pants fell around my ankles and i dropped my toothbrush, with a panicy voice I shouted at the mad monkeys that came crawling out of the pockets and took my money with them. It felt like I was getting raped at the gas pump all over again............F'N monkeys!!!
Then the monkeys stopped and asked "why do ya'll talk so funny?” At this point- i started slapping at them because being in my pants and taking my money is one thing--but talking??? Plus, it was in a sqeeky fingernail on the chalkboard kind of voice- and it was driving me CRAZY.
After I finished i started back on my journey---swinging on vines and climbing over logs to find my shoes- and seeing as how I was pant-less....was no easy feat.
I like monkeys in my pants, if were all talkin 'bout the same "monkeys" who like to monkey around but they're too busy with grapes and tae kwon do, so we had to call upon Petunia Pig with his shoes and large balls that bounced when he jumped on the trampoline at the .......toy factory where he met a big beautiful drag queen that had orange deep crevaces between her smelly hooves.
With loud forceful voices, it became clear that while Drew Carey sat

way to go on the 300th post!!!!!! ......

thats freakin funny,i got tears in my eyes!!!!!
congrats on becoming a

Ok- time to get back to the topic!!!

jessks75 wrote:

while Drew Carey sat

motionless on the porch of his cabin staring up at the spider on the ceiling....

contemplating the spider's belly button

while it was knitting a sweater with...

grandma's antique

dildo

Seriously nitro.... Geez! Oh well, I'll roll with it...


(grandma's antique dildo)
to keep

the flies away

from the baby.

Someone yelled from afar,don't stir your drink with that!!!!!!

but it was tooooooooooo late

She'd already put it in her

Hooters Margarita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I finished my hot wings and

and headed off to the new Broadway play about

The Lion King.

Yet it was to late, the fog started rolling in on and the street was in total darkness. Screammmmmmmm

What did I step in?

What was that jumping coming from?

asked Kanga as she was...

picking her