Walk a mile or two or twelve in OUR shoes

I have been reading all the posts regarding trans kids. I am the parent to a transgender CHILD. ALL transgender people began life as TRANSGENDER CHILDREN. As others have stated...how and when did you know you were the gender you are? And did you ever question it. To all the posts regarding parental "encouragement" "coaching" "grooming" or any other term used to suggest that the parent treated the child in a manner such that the child would then "believe" or state they are the opposite gender-you baffle me. I was a major tomboy as a child-BUT never questioned that I was a female, or thought that I might be a male. My child, the youngest of four children is transgender. We have THREE SONS, she was born our 4th child-female. To even suggest that we would want to change this beautiful child into a boy (for whatever reason!) is beyond ridiculous. We revelled in the fact that we had a beautiful healthy baby girl and our sons, a bit older than her were thrilled to have a baby sister. I too, like another parent on this forum, dressed her in the frilly little dresses and did her hair with bows and painted her fingernails and toenails. What a total joy this darling little girl. By age three, my beautiful little angel was a bigger tomboy than I ever was-no biggie for me. By age three, she was extremely vocal and articulate and wearing boxer shorts exclusively-even under her dresses that I would choose for her to wear. She was outgoing and fun and funny and sweet and rough and tumble too. WE let her her be who she apparently WAS. By age 8, "she" was wearing nearly exclusively "boy" clothing and flat out refused to wear anything remotely girlish or anything that came from the girls dept. We still let her be who she was. We figured "she" would outgrow her tomboyishness and didnt really worry about anything. She had in fact stated many times that she wanted to be a boy when she grew up. By age 12, our incredibly outgoing child turned inward and secluded. When "her" body began to develope it was almost tragic. When her 1st period started-that WAS tragic. Her reaction was such dispair, and I didnt understand. (We had been raising 2 other girls, relative foster children- and had gone thru puberty with them as well-no reactions like this for sure!) We were always very open with all of our children regarding their bodies and sex and puberty, and "she" was well informed about the changes her body would have. By age 13, I had an alien living in my house. I know all teens are aliens..trust me..I have raised 6 of them-our 4 and 2 foster. This was nothing like I had seen in any of our kids. "She FINALLY" one night came to me, distraught-an emotion she never displayed-and informed us of how she was feeling and had always felt-that she was a boy, had always been a boy, and would rather DIE than continue to have the world view her as female. We immediately went into protective and detective modes. Found EVERYTHING we could regarding transgender-children specifically. We took her to the doctor for a complete workup to rule out ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that could be or not be. We lined up a counselor..for all of us. We supported "her" and never waivered in our love and strength. Unfortunately for "HIM"..."her" body had already gone thru puberty and this person who knows they are "male" is walking around with fully developed breasts like tumors, and having menstrual periods that totally devestate "HIM". WE bought chest binders and our childs confidence and personality came FLOWING back. We are not yet at the point of hormones, but shortly will be seeing doctors for that purpose. IF we had KNOWN that this was the issue prior to puberty-you can bet that we would have RUN to a doctor like Dr. Spack for the hormone blockers. Our child was suicidal..and sometimes still is.

For the past 1 1/2 years, our child has been living as a male, going to school in the same district we started in as a male. With all of the people who knew "her" growing up. They are accepting and for the most part non-judgemental. Our child is an excellent student and always has been. Our child is now more confident than I can remember him ever being. Our child is kind and generous and thoughtful and respectful with no mental health issues, and no other medical issues. Our family is very accepting and non judgemental.

We are the parents of four CHILDREN. We do not drink or do drugs. We have a very loving and open minded home. Our 3 oldest children have all graduated high school and are working/going to college. One is married with a baby on the way. WE have been married for 22+ years. Our youngest child is attending high school and is an honor roll student. DOES THEIR GENDER MATTER IN ANY OF THAT INFORMATION?

Make whatever assumptions you need to get you through the day. Our lives do not concern you for the most part. My need is to educate you in case you ever have to face this kind of issue. THANK GOD for the media..good and bad on the topic, or we may not know as much as we do about transgender issues. THANK GOD for the support group I found, and for the support organizations that my child is able to participate in and know he is not ALONE. THANK GOD for people like Dr. Spack who can help us, as parents, to not have to possibly bury our children.

Huh?

where\'d this come from???---I have NOT read one post about transgendered kids AND for that matter several of us( I am one ) on here either have kiddos with problems,kiddos who are different and kiddos who are disabled,what are u talking about??

thanks,I was not aware that was posted.......been out of the loop a bit ,I hope noone was talking bad,haven't had a chance to read

I was supposed to be a really handsome man with a huge member, but none of the really cute gals believe me.