DHS Teams Up With Wal-Mart

Last month, the Department of Homeland Security announced it was working with retailer Wal-Mart to help protect American towns. What policies is Wal-Mart instituting to make our communities safer?

- In the bicycle section, sign must be hung that says, "Not to be used as getaway bicycle"

- In addition to saying hello, greeters will ask if customers have recently had contact with citizens of Syria, Yemen, Iran, or Pakistan

- Wal-Mart will become the sole retailer of Department of Homeland Security cosmetics

- All tall, bearded Arabs seeking to fill insulin prescriptions must first fill out a questionnaire

- Continuing to refuse to sell incendiary material such as Sheryl Crow's self-titled album, Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown, and George Carlin's book
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

- Hiding millimeter wave scanners right in front of high-traffic Tasmanian Devil T-shirt racks

- Maintaining database of all customers who purchase spices cumin and turmeric

- Making everyday prices even lower to drive the terrorists that much crazier!

Source

Wally World already reports anyone who buys quantities of certain things. And hardware stores already make note of anyone that seems odd who is buying pipe and end caps for it at the same time. I bought some end caps with pipe last summer to plug unused lines on my other house so I must be suspect.

Though I do admit, sometimes blowing up the friggin place would seem easier than fixing it. @#!&^%&$ mobile home crap always needs repairs.