How My Neighbor Got Banned From Costco

Yesterday, my neighbor was at the local Costco buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for his loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind asked if he had a dog.



He thought, what did she think I have? So, since he's retired and has little to do, on impulse he told her that no, he didn't have a dog -- he was starting the Purina Diet again. He added that he probably shouldn't, because he ended up in the hospital last time, but had lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most orifices and IVs in both arms.

He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well --- and he was going to try it again..

You can imagine that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with this story.

Horrified, she asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him. He told her no, he stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit both of them.

Costco won't let him shop there any more.