churches in hays

so what are the good, average, and not so good churches in hays

zeke wrote:

so what are the good, average, and not so good churches in hays

Kind of a broad question. Are you looking to join one, and if so what do you like? I can't tell you alot because I don't frequent any of them, but it might get you better answers if others know why you're asking.

they're all the same aren't they....pass the collection plate please

My son attends the church on the hill every Wednesday. He enjoys it, but that may be because of peer influance.

well when i lived in plainville i went to thr red line in palco. so yeah im looking for one to attend, but i don't want to attend everyone in town till i find one i like. not a catholic so that knocks my choices down a bit. and one that isn't full of up-tight people. easy going fun to hang with type

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

zeke wrote:

well when i lived in plainville i went to thr red line in palco. so yeah im looking for one to attend, but i don't want to attend everyone in town till i find one i like. not a catholic so that knocks my choices down a bit. and one that isn't full of up-tight people. easy going fun to hang with type

Well, not being a member of the big corporation doesn't cut your odds that much, except not being Catholic might cut down slightly on your invitations to beer parties. There's still the other major denominations plus what I call the offbreeds. There were some on the old 67601 that liked one of the newer type churches in Hays but I can't recall which one. Maybe one of the others here will remember. What denomination is the RedLine in Palco?

Ratzilla wrote:

There were some on the old 67601 that liked one of the newer type churches in Hays but I can't recall which one. Maybe one of the others here will remember.

Westview comes to mind. Was that it, Ratz?

suzyr wrote:

Westview comes to mind. Was that it, Ratz?

I think so suzy Thanks.

Ratzilla wrote:

What denomination is the RedLine in Palco?

Its Redline Church of God, I believe its christian.

dz724 wrote:

Ratzilla wrote:

What denomination is the RedLine in Palco?

Its Redline Church of God, I believe its christian.

I kinda figured it was. I meant was it Methodist, Baptist, Evangelist, or what. It'd help to know what zekes preference is if any.

Ratzilla wrote:

dz724 wrote:

Ratzilla wrote:

What denomination is the RedLine in Palco?

Its Redline Church of God, I believe its christian.

I kinda figured it was. I meant was it Methodist, Baptist, Evangelist, or what. It'd help to know what zekes preference is if any.

Church of God is a separate abomination...err, demonination in of itself. They are pentecostal (holy roller) churches where they do things like "speaking in tongues" and faith healing.

red line evangelist, some were "holly rollers" but most were good folks. like the fish fries where a bunch of guys went fishing for several weeks and had a huge fish fry once a year, men only no chicks allowed so we were free to have a good ole boy time without paying the price from the women lol

Not sure about those churches in Hays zeke. My stepmother was Pentacostal Evangelist. She was also insane. She hated me because I said Jimmy Swaggart was a crook. She said he was God's right hand man and I was going to hell for blashemy against him. I told her I was happy about that because it meant I could stick her and Swaggart in the ass with pitchforks when they got there. Needless to say, our relationship degraded badly after that. Dad said after the Swaggart/hooker incident she never spoke of him again. Tried to tell the woman he was rotten.

Good luck zeke, You seem like a nice guy but I try hard to avoid that particular church.

zeke wrote:

red line evangelist, some were "holly rollers" but most were good folks.

Don't get the impression that I think holy rollers are bad people. Most of them are great people, although extremely gullible. The whole "speaking in tongues" thing is just ludicrous. Why in the h-e-double pitchfork would God want you to blurt out some gibberish that only a preacher could understand to prove that you're a true believer?

Anyway, if you rerad the original Greek translations, the story is that there were many believers gathered in one place, and God gave them the ability to understand each other, even though they spoke in many tongues (languages).

But I digress. i used to live in Springfield, MO, which is the holy roller's Mecca. It is home to the world headquarters of the Assemblies of God, the largest pentecostal demonination, along with their colleges, Central Bible College, Evangel University and the AG Theological Seminary. I've known plenty of holy rollers through the years. For the most part, they are honest, hard working people. They just believe some things a little too easily and, in my opinion, have an affinity for getting ripped off by sham preachers.

The Other One wrote:

I've known plenty of holy rollers through the years. For the most part, they are honest, hard working people. They just believe some things a little too easily and, in my opinion, have an affinity for getting ripped off by sham preachers.

The sham preachers part is sure true. Stepmommie dearest was a sucker deluxe. I'm sure there's some good Pentacostal types, but the ones my stepmother associated with were goofy as her. How weird was she? She swept our shag carpet with a straw broom instead of a vacuum. I always suspected she rode the broom when I wasn't looking. She fed my dad on a cholesterol saturated greasy diet and then said my evil ways caused my dads heart attack. She tried to convince dad I was the devil. Oh, not a common demon either, she told dad I was Satan himself.

Nope, I think zeke here is the most normal person I've seen out of one of those churches. Don't take that badly zeke. Like I say, after meeting stepmoms crowd I sought no more contact with other Evangelists to see if they differed. I had trouble in early childhood with Catholics who hated me just because I wasn't, and in latter childhood I was accused of being Lucifer himself by stepmom and her cackling coven of Swaggart worshippers. I just like religion much better now when it stays out of my path.

One of the most famous sham preachers:

Wikipedia wrote:

Hugh Marjoe Ross Gortner, generally known as Marjoe Gortner (born January 14, 1944 in Long Beach, California), is a former evangelical minister who first gained a certain fame in the late 1940s and early to mid 1950s when he became the youngest ordained preacher at the age of four, and then outright notoriety in the 1970s when he starred in an Oscar-winning, behind-the-scenes documentary about the lucrative business of Pentecostal preaching. The name "Marjoe" is a combination of the names "Mary" and "Joseph".

When Marjoe was three, his father, a second generation evangelical minister, noticed his son's talent for mimicry and overall fearlessness of strangers and public settings. His parents claimed Marjoe had received a vision from God during a bath and began training him to deliver sermons, complete with dramatic gestures and emphatic lunges. By the time Marjoe was four, his parents arranged for him to perform a marriage ceremony for a film crew from Paramount studios, referring to him as "the youngest ordained minister in history." Like much in Marjoe's early life it is hard to say for sure who exactly ordained him, if his father ordained him, or if he was even ordained at all.

Until the time he was a teenager, Marjoe and his parents traveled the rural United States, holding revival meetings. As well as teaching him scriptural passages, Marjoe's parents also taught him several money-making tactics, involving the sale of supposedly "holy" articles at revivals which promised to heal the sick and dying. By the time Marjoe was sixteen, he later estimated, his family had amassed maybe three million dollars; shortly after his sixteenth birthday, Marjoe's father absconded with the money, and a disillusioned Marjoe left his mother for San Francisco, where he was taken in by and became the lover of an older woman. Marjoe spent the remainder of his teenage years as an itinerant hippie until his early twenties, when, hard pressed for money, he decided to put his old skills to work and re-emerged on the evangelical circuit with a charismatic stage-show modeled after those of contemporary rockers, most notably Mick Jagger. Marjoe made enough to take six months off every year, during which he returned to California, surviving on the previous six months' earnings.

In the late 1960s, Marjoe suffered a crisis of conscience — in particular about the threats of damnation he felt compelled to weave into his sermons — and resolved to make one final tour, this time on film. Under the pretense of making a documentary on the evangelical and non-denominational faiths, Marjoe assembled a documentary film crew to follow him around revival meetings in California, Texas, and Michigan during 1971. Unbeknownst to everyone else involved — including, at one point, his father — Marjoe gave "backstage" interviews to the filmmakers in between sermons and revivals, explaining intimate details of how he and other ministers operated. After sermons, the filmmakers were invited back to Marjoe's hotel room to tape him counting the money he collected during the day. The resulting film, Marjoe, won the 1972 Academy Award for best documentary.

Ok can we please get off the Catholic snark? Not all of us think we are the only church out there nor do we all think we are better than everyone else and we dont all attend beer parties with regularity.

Ya know I personally think that one church in Hays in particular resembles a cult but I do have enough self restraint to not post about it out of consideration for members of this board that may belong to that church.

luv2cook wrote:

Ok can we please get off the Catholic snark? Not all of us think we are the only church out there nor do we all think we are better than everyone else and we dont all attend beer parties with regularity.

Ya know I personally think that one church in Hays in particular resembles a cult but I do have enough self restraint to not post about it out of consideration for members of this board that may belong to that church.

Funny how the nuns at the local Catholic school had no consideration for me when I was 5 years old and they told my neighbor kids that I was a heathen that couldn't get into heaven because only Catholics could achieve that. I got beat up by the older Catholic boys over that. That's no rumor or assumption either. My parents and some of the other kids parents got pretty upset about it, and one Catholic father even confronted his Priest about it.

Don't get too upset about my opinions of Catholocism though, because part of that was meant in humor. And for that matter of the cult church, I consider all religions cults.

Ratzilla wrote:

Funny how the nuns at the local Catholic school had no consideration for me when I was 5 years old and they told my neighbor kids that I was a heathen that couldn't get into heaven because only Catholics could achieve that. I got beat up by the older Catholic boys over that. That's no rumor or assumption either. My parents and some of the other kids parents got pretty upset about it, and one Catholic father even confronted his Priest about it.

.

While I can sympathasize with you, that still doesnt mean you should lump us all into one pile. Ive met MANY a protestant what were just as much an asshole as there are Catholics. People are people, some are bad and some are good. Religion really doesnt make that big a difference as far as Im concerned.

luv2cook wrote:

While I can sympathasize with you, that still doesnt mean you should lump us all into one pile. Ive met MANY a protestant what were just as much an asshole as there are Catholics. People are people, some are bad and some are good. Religion really doesnt make that big a difference as far as Im concerned.

Did I mention that Catholics are touchy too? LOL Might I ask where I said there weren't protestant assholes? And maybe I wouldn't make the drinking jokes if I hadn't attended wedding dances and Halloween parties in the gym of the Catholic school here where the priest commonly held a glass of wine most of the evening, and if one of the old nuns wasn't known to have a beer with every meal.

By the way, in case you didn't notice, I said alot of uncomplimentary things about the Pentacostal Evangelists I knew, but I don't see zeke thinking it means I'm slamming him about it. Relax a little.

Sorry, menopause and all ya know.

No offense meant, or taken L2C.

Ratzilla wrote:

Did I mention that Catholics are touchy too? LOL Might I ask where I said there weren't protestant assholes? And maybe I wouldn't make the drinking jokes if I hadn't attended wedding dances and Halloween parties in the gym of the Catholic school here where the priest commonly held a glass of wine most of the evening, and if one of the old nuns wasn't known to have a beer with every meal.

He's an equal opportunity offender.

Common religion jokes:

What's the difference between a Catholic wedding and a Catholic funeral? There's one less drunk at the funeral.

_______________________________________________________________

Oral Roberts died. He got to the pearly gates, and St. Peter immediately recognized him.

"Oral Roberts! Boy am I glad you're here! I have someone who really wants to meet you. Just follow me."

So he follows Peter through the immaculate city on the streets paved with gold. When they get to the biggest, most specatular mansion of all, Peter leads him up the sidewalk and rings the bell. The door opens, and they are in the presence of God, who exclaims, "Oral Roberts! I've been waiting for you! I need you're help!"

"Anything you ask, Lord," replies Roberts.

"Well, I have this pain right here in my shoulder...."

_________________________________________________________________

How do you keep an Amish woman happy? Give her three Mennonite.

What's the difference between a Catholic and a Southern Baptist? Catholics will say hello when they meet another Catholic in the liquor store.

An old jewish woman was playing on the beach with her grandson when a huge wave washed the boy out to sea. She looked to the heavens and pleaded for her grandson to be safely returned, and when the next wave came in the boy washed ashore.

She looked skywards again and gave her never ending thanks as she hugged her grandson and checked him for injuries.

Suddenly she stopped with a scowl on her face, shook her fist at the sky and yelled..... "Dammit, there was a quarter in his pocket!!".


A Catholic man was run down in the street and as he knew he'd die, he requested a priest. A police officer aiding him scanned the crowd and asked if there was a priest nearby as the man wouldn't last long.

An old jewish man walked up and told the officer he wasn't a priest, but he lived beside the Catholic church and had often heard their prayers when the windows were open, and he'd be glad to try to offer some words of worship he recalled to comfort the dying man.

Not seeing an alternative the officer agreed and the old jewish man knelt beside him and softly began to speak...."B-5.....I-19......N-35"



Another Catholic man had to have his very special dog put to sleep and was terribly distrought. He approached his priest about a funeral servive for the dog and the priest said "I'm sorry, but I cannot do a service for a dog."

The man pleaded with the priest, but to no avail. Finally the man lowered his head and said it was a shame because he would have donated every penny of his $10,000 bank account to get it done. The priest yelled "Good God man, why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"

Well, love2cook, attendees of that "certain church" need not follow the dogma of their preacher in every regard, or support his social views. Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

GeoPhilip06 wrote:

Well, love2cook, attendees of that "certain church" need not follow the dogma of their preacher in every regard, or support his social views. Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

Al Sharpton and his pals think Katrina was caused by whitey.

Ratzilla wrote:

GeoPhilip06 wrote:

Well, love2cook, attendees of that "certain church" need not follow the dogma of their preacher in every regard, or support his social views. Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

Al Sharpton and his pals think Katrina was caused by whitey.

I think it's caused by the excessive idiocy in the world and the planet is trying to shake us off like fleas.

That could be it J A T

GeoPhilip06 wrote:

Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

This sounds a bit like the Fred Phelps philosophy

I have heard there is a church in Hays that requires new members to bring in and show the minister the last several years tax returns and that the new member is required to pay a certain percentage to the church regularly. Does anyone know if this is true?

JustAnotherTourist wrote:

I think it's caused by the excessive idiocy in the world and the planet is trying to shake us off like fleas.

I'm pretty sure this is correct.

LukeTHr wrote:

I have heard there is a church in Hays that requires new members to bring in and show the minister the last several years tax returns and that the new member is required to pay a certain percentage to the church regularly. Does anyone know if this is true?

I'd like to be someone who sells bull spunk to cattlemen for a living. I'd pour a cup in their collection plate.

Ratzilla wrote:

I'd like to be someone who sells bull spunk to cattlemen for a living. I'd pour a cup in their collection plate.

wouldn't you just love to see the look on their faces when the collection was counted???

I know an adult who put a banana in the collection plate.

LukeTHr wrote:

Ratzilla wrote:

I'd like to be someone who sells bull spunk to cattlemen for a living. I'd pour a cup in their collection plate.

wouldn't you just love to see the look on their faces when the collection was counted???

Actually it'd be funny to give them a vial full and say it was worth a fortune from a prize bull. Then see their faces after they try to sell it and find out it was donated by a bunch of drunks in a bar.

The whole speaking in tongues thing is quite scary. I grew up going to a holy roller church that did things like that. It really freaked me out. The one thing that really got my attention were those guest speakers who could touch your forehead and make you fall backwards. I always wondered how they could do that? I would like to be able to go up to someone and touch their forehead and say demons out while they fall backwards to the floor.

GeoPhilip06 wrote:

Well, love2cook, attendees of that "certain church" need not follow the dogma of their preacher in every regard, or support his social views. Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

Seriously? Celebration preach has posted this? That church always has bugged me....

Degeneration X wrote:

The whole speaking in tongues thing is quite scary. I grew up going to a holy roller church that did things like that. It really freaked me out. The one thing that really got my attention were those guest speakers who could touch your forehead and make you fall backwards. I always wondered how they could do that? I would like to be able to go up to someone and touch their forehead and say demons out while they fall backwards to the floor.

Pure hysteria and maybe a tad mental illness mixed in.

GeoPhilip06 wrote:

Well, love2cook, attendees of that "certain church" need not follow the dogma of their preacher in every regard, or support his social views. Celebration Community church preaches tolerance, but it's sickening to hear the preacher has the audacity to post internet audio sermons saying that Hurricane Katrina was caused by a New Orleans gay rally. Cultism aside, i'd be wary.

I don't know much about this church but it seems to have a loyal congregation. Did you actually hear the internet audio sermon where the "preacher" said that?

Yes, i did. I am not sure if the emails the website got were enough to have it removed from their own site, but it's worth checking out, probably

There will never be a time when each person agrees on a religion or church, that is obviously why there are so many. As far as choosing a church, start with what your basic beliefs and traditions are, if you believe in the physical change of the eucharist or like very structured formal services, go to a few catholic churches, if you like sermons for the substanstial part of the service and don't believe in the physical change of the eucharist then set out for a protestant (non-catholic) church. Assemblies of God that I have attended usually have good music with a lot of physical (arm/hand) motions and loud murmurs (Amen, etc) of course you are not directed to follow along and raise your hands but if you want that try it. If you are more comfortable with a minimum but some of this try a baptist church. They all have certain doctrines and beliefs, but basically they all believe in God and Jesus and where you feel spiritually satisfied or empowered is where you should hang your hat.

oops