Golfstupidassminimumlength

I don't golf, but . . .


Best Caddy Responses . .


Number :10

Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."

Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"



Number : 9

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."

Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."



Number : 8

Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"

Caddy: "Yes . . . . You miss the ball much closer now."



Number : 7

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"

Caddy: "Eventually."



Number : 6

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."

Caddy: "I don't think so . . . .That would be too much of a coincidence."



Number : 5

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."

Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."



Number : 4

Golfer: "How do you like my game?"

Caddy: "It's very good - but personally, I prefer golf."



Number : 3

Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?

Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."



Number : 2

Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."

Caddy: "This isn't the golf course . . . . We left that an hour ago."



And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment:

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."



Bonus . . . . .

An old favorite . . . . . About the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole . . . . . He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy. . . . .

Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems . . . .??"

Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club."

Golfer: He picks up his club up and cleans the club face . . . . .

Caddy: "No sir, it’s at the other end"

Didn't you know that golf is only for rich bastards who live off the labor of others?

I know plenty of bums who play golf EP though I'm not sure why because it's one boring friggin game. Maybe it allows them to suck up to rich bastards. You play do ya EP?

By the way SciFi, this was funny.

Ratzilla wrote:

You play do ya EP?

Played Putt-Putt a few times. Golf could be patented as a cure for insomnia.

Ratzilla wrote:

By the way SciFi, this was funny.

Thanks, Ratz. The smart-ass responses remind me of Mad Magazine's, "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions."

The Other One wrote:

Ratzilla wrote:

You play do ya EP?

Played Putt-Putt a few times. Golf could be patented as a cure for insomnia.

Bout the same here. I didn't mind a round or two with the putter, but I think most of the golfers I know are doing it for the time in the club afterwards as much as anything.

Here's another golfer joke I liked SciFi.

A guy and his wife are out for a few holes one day when she hits her ball wild into a pasture. After a search the husband finds it and hollers to her, but the next sight he has is a doctor attempting to remove a club wrapped around his head. When the doc sees he's awake he asks him how this happened.

The man tells him about the ball being lost but says he isn't sure what happened. He and his wife were walking along looking for her ball when he glances up and sure as hell it was stuck right in a cows ass. He said everything went dark right after he picked up the cows tail and said to his wife "Hey honey, this looks like yours."

Good one!

Ratzilla wrote:

Here's another golfer joke I liked SciFi.

A guy and his wife are out for a few holes one day when she hits her ball wild into a pasture. After a search the husband finds it and hollers to her, but the next sight he has is a doctor attempting to remove a club wrapped around his head. When the doc sees he's awake he asks him how this happened.

The man tells him about the ball being lost but says he isn't sure what happened. He and his wife were walking along looking for her ball when he glances up and sure as hell it was stuck right in a cows ass. He said everything went dark right after he picked up the cows tail and said to his wife "Hey honey, this looks like yours."