Secretary of State Hillary Clinton arrived in Kabul, Afghanistan this morning. Barely an hour later, Taliban leaders began surrendering en masse. Saying that they didn't want to submit their people to this secret weapon, and amidst warnings from the US that "we have more like her, and we're not afraid to use them," the insurgents emerged from their hiding places - tunnels, caves, mosques, the Russian embassy - with their rifles held high over their heads. They were heard to be shouting, "Allah is great, but this is too much even for him."
In an official statement, Taliban head Imam Abbu Mohammed Ishtar Achmed Skyhook said, "We are students of history. We know that Japan believed that the United States possessed only one atomic bomb, much to their sorrow. Our intelligence shows that passports and plane tickets have recently been issued to Rosie O'Donnell and Janet Reno. Sending a loyal Muslim on a suicide bombing mission is one thing, but this would condemn our people to a fate much worse than death. Emergencies like this are what prompted the invention of the burqa."
International reaction to the use of the secret weapon was mixed. While the French called it "cruel and unusual" tactics, the British said they would buy enough to pay off the US national debt if it comes in a model dressed in a leather dominatrix suit.
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Subject: US Secret Weapon Successful 
Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:39 am
